Angel Signs

I go through periods of time where I see the same string of numbers on the clock or other places. I believe they are signs from Angels and I welcome them. My typical ones are 11:11 or 9:11. The last few days I was seeing 4:20-so you know what I was thinking….I’m supposed to start using weed. LOL!

I actually did some research and it really means time to focus on endeavors you love. I’ve really missed writing and have been thinking about getting back to it. I’m happy to say this 4:20 angel sign brought me back to it. Wishing you a day filled with lots of wonderful experiences and remember to watch for signs of angels.

Are You A Grouchimoto?

Look out here he comes the scary beast called Grouchimoto. He  or  She can turn a happy occasion into an uncomfortable situation in two seconds or less. They can go from beaming like the sun to a roaring thundercloud before you can say Good Morning.

Grouchimotos can come in many different forms, the unassuming co-worker, the helpful Aunt, the “I have every tool you could ever need” Neighbor, or the “I am here when you need me” friend. Sadly he or she doesn’t know when they have changed into Grouchimoto.

We all have the ability to become Grouchimoto, some of us recognize when we’re in this mode and stay in our cave choosing not to inflict our state of grouchiness on others. On the other hand there are those who go into hyper grouchitivity so often it has become their norm.

How do you stage a grouchiness intervention?  Very carefully, because in the eyes of a Grouchimoto you may just become the problem.  Maybe it’s safer to leave this self checklist out on the counter:

1. Do you frequently feel like all of the other drivers on the road are there to make your life miserable?
2. Does it seem that no one understands the value of your time and that your friends are not ever prompt enough or sensitive to your “invisible” timetable?
3. During conversations when you are not the one talking do you secretly will the person talking to “Shut Up” or just talk over them to get your point across?
4. When you have guests over for dinner, does it make you angry when they actually use the linen napkins or guest towels in the bathroom?
5. Do people  seated next to you that are having fun and laughing loudly irritate you?
6. Do people in the grocery store who dare to stop in the aisle in front of you make you want to hit them with your cart?

We all can become a Grouchimoto but hopefully we can recognize it and get out of that mode.  Unfortunately we all encounter Grouchimotos but for today I’m wishing you a day that is Grouchimoto free!

Emoji photo credit<a href=’http://fkdrinazvornik.com’>http://fkdrinazvornik.com</a&gt;

Be Careful What You Ass-sume

This morning I was in my fuchsia leopard bathrobe while accompanying my mini dachshund on her morning constitution. My dog is fearless at 16 years young, she doesn’t hesitate to voice her opinions to anyone approaching our yard. I saw an early morning walker approaching and because it was so early I turned Zoe around so she wouldn’t see the walker and start her typical LOUD warning.

The very pleasant walker called out, “I caught you”. She assumed I didn’t want her to see me in my robe. I laughed and told her, I was hoping that my dog wouldn’t bark. She laughed and told me to have a good morning. Of course, her comments were supported by Zoe’s back up vocals. Unfortunately my neighbors had to hear that too.

This is a fairly benign example of an incorrect assumption. But what if it was something more serious? What if I didn’t have the chance to explain?

In my work in Human Resources Consulting, I’m constantly reminding Managers to deal with the facts not their assumptions. It’s really important to do so in all facets of life. We’re trained to judge things on our experience but that can cause over thinking, which leads to ass-sumptions. Do yourself and your friends a favor and deal with each circumstance individually. Remember what happens when you “ass-ume”.

Are You Running to Your Next Thrilling Emergency?

Are you the only one who can “handle” the tough situations? Does your family count on you to come up with a solution to Aunt Edna’s living situation or Uncle Bert’s tax problem? At work are you the one that arrives early, stays late and feels more comfortable “doing it yourself”? Are your evenings filled with long conversations with “friends” lamenting their latest crisis and carefully laying out the solutions? If you answered yes to any of these questions, I think it is time you considered getting off of your Drama Queen Throne.

It is very tempting to help your friends and family solve all of their problems but has it occurred to you that maybe they need to learn to solve these issues themselves? Maybe solving their own problem is important for them to do so that can get to their next milestone. Your helpfulness could be keeping them stuck in a bad situation or even worse zapping their self-confidence and blocking the achievement of their dreams.

Sometimes running to our next thrilling emergency is much more exciting than what’s going on in our own life. If you’re bored there are many more ways to improve that situation then jumping into other people’s business.
If you are running to your next thrilling emergency, slow down and head another direction.

Call Me Beverly………….Hillbilly!

I was born in Charleston, West Virginia. It is a beautiful and friendly place. I am convinced it is the only place in the U.S. that people still believe in the inherent good of others, although that’s not how West Virginians are a portrayed in the media. I once travelled there to see my Grandparents and on the way, someone in the Cincannati Airport stole my wallet. I arrived in Charleston with no money, no driver’s license, and no credit cards. I still had my check book and the kind people at the Allegheny Airlines Ticket Counter allowed me to write a check for $25.00 which was enough for me to take a cab to my Grandparents’ home. Another time in Charleston my sister and I went shopping at a drugstore and my sister got home to Kentucky and realized she didn’t have all of the items she purchased. She asked me to go back in there and let them know and pick up the items. I was reluctant to do so, imagining I would be laughed right out of there. I was so wrong, the salesperson remembered us and went to the shelves and retrieved the items my sister was missing.
Typically when I mention I am from West Virginia I get the usual jokes about marrying my cousin. I confess I hate to wear shoes and take them off as often as I can. But I have never dated, let alone married my cousins, I have all of my teeth, I went to college, my parents and my sister went to college, and I wasn’t raised as racially prejudiced. I have never called a swimming pool “the cement pond”. I never used a piece of rope for a belt. I never called my Dad, “Pa”, although I did call my Grandfather PaPa (pronounced PawPall). I never called my Grandmother “Granny” she was of course MaMa (pronounced MawMall). The new awful stereotype about West Virginia are the knuckleheads attempting crazy stunts on an MTV show called Buckwild.
Just like any prejudice or preconceived notions assuming that being from West Virginia means a bunch of negative stereotypes are true about me is not only incorrect about who I am, it limits how we can interact. Especially if when we’re talking you are wondering if I grew up using an outhouse instead of having indoor plumbing. Next time you start make assumptions about someone when you hear where they were born, take a minute and make sure you’re not limiting your interaction with them based on your preconceived notions. Y’all come back now, ya hear.

Are You Your Best Friend or Worst Critic?

How do you define yourself? If I asked you right now to tell me about yourself would you begin with who you are or would you talk about who you are not? It is easy to forget all of our good qualities if we are focusing on milestones we haven’t reached. If the way you talk to yourself is a way you wouldn’t speak to your worst enemy, you need to change that today.

Negative comments and constant criticism can become a bad habit. When you try to change this habit it may feel strange to be complimenting yourself. For example, you missed a project deadline and your typical thought might be, “I can’t believe I did that. You’re such a loser”. How about saying, “I missed that deadline but I will do better next time”. Or “The project was better for the extra time I took to complete it” Or “Now I know I need to give myself more time to complete this type of project next time”. You get the picture, it’s focusing on the positive outcomes instead of dwelling on the missed deadline.

Do a little check for the next day. Notice how you talk to yourself. Are you supportive? Are you focusing on what you’ve accomplished or do you focus on what you haven’t done? Every time you make a critical comment, stop and rephrase it with a positive one. You will be amazed at how much better and energized you feel. Now make it a great day!

Gotta Go Gotta Go

I know you have had that feeling when you are somewhere and your inner voice is say “Get Out”. Typically this voice goes off when you are in some kind of danger. Obviously physical threats are easy to identify, so you get out. But what happens when you’re not in any imminent danger but you are feeling uncomfortable? I think we’ve all been “trained” to ignore these messages because leaving might not be the socially correct thing to do. Heaven forbid that you create a socially awkward situation. I am sure I can’t count the number of times I’ve ignored my intuition and stayed somewhere that I didn’t want to be not wanting to hurt another’s feelings or giving in to my “party animal” friend who just wants to have one more drink. (You know by the way it’s never just one more drink.) Unless you are in a wedding or staring in a Broadway show, I suggest you listen to your inner voice when it tells you it’s time to go. Give yourself the credit you deserve that you know what is best for you, even when your brain is overriding it. Invariably when I have stayed past the time I wanted to leave, I cease to enjoy myself and am secretly plotting my escape route. One time I was at dinner with a blind date and I actually was wondering if I could get downstairs, have the Valet retrieve my car, and drive away before he realized I was gone. I didn’t listen to my inner voice or use my escape plan and was terribly embarrassed later by him serenading me in a loud voice. I knew I should have gone earlier and staying turned out to be humiliating. Nowadays if I start to feel I should go I do.

It’s All About Your Perspective

I have realized that I am in control of how I feel and what my mood is. Even the worst situations have proven to be a good thing in the long run but I still need a reminder that my perspective of a situation is the key. If you are too close to something and its overwhelming, step back and look at the bigger picture. It can provide some welcome relief and help you to recognize the positive side of things. I had been called to jury duty and I was lamenting to a dear friend, the fact that I had to sit in the jury pool room and it was boring. She texted me,”Don’t give up hope. I know someone who met her now husband at jury duty! Shop around.” Now there’s a perspective turn around, man shopping versus just sitting in the jury pool room bored. I also had another dear friend mention to me that now that she had decided she was leaving her long time job, she felt much better in the morning and was re-energized. Instead of focusing on her disappointment in problematic co-workers or administrative officials she is now focusing on her future and the wonderful possibilities. Keep your perspective positive and watch how much more fun you’re having.

Pedal! Pedal! Pedal!

I just had a wonderful experience with my dear friend Patricia and her son John. I visited them one morning and Patricia suggested we all go for a bike ride. I said I would go but I couldn’t remember the last time I was on a bike and would I be able to remember how to ride one? John volunteered to teach me how to do it. He started by showing me and explaining the kickstand. Then he told me just get on it and “Pedal! Pedal! Pedal!”. He took off down the driveway to show me what he meant and I followed. He cheered me on saying, “Pedal! Pedal! Pedal!” and after I made a few circles around the court he declared, “you’re doing it”! His excitement was infectious and although I had muscles I hadn’t used in ages hurting and the bicycle seat was much more uncomfortable than I could recall, it was the most fun that I have had in a while. If John hadn’t been such an enthusiastic and patient teacher it would have been easy for me not to try this adventure. John’s simple instructions to me seem an appropriate metaphor for how to continue to move forward in life. So I am passing on his simple sage advice to you, now get out there and “Pedal! Pedal! Pedal!” Remember that your words or enthusiasm have an impact on those around you, who knows what you might inspire someone to do.

Why is Doing the Dishes so Satisfying?

I am probably the only person who has done this, but I occasionally leave dirty dishes in the sink. I put water and detergent in them, content to let them “soak”. The longer they sit “soaking” the more gross they become and the original mess continues to grow. When I finally wash the dishes and/or put them in the dishwasher I always feel better. Some issues in life are just like dirty dishes-the longer you let them “soak”, the messier the problem becomes. If I could only remember that dealing with the mess head-on is the best practice. When I am able to deal with things head-on I make more room for the positive things going on around me. I am not wasting time thinking about the mess that is looming in the kitchen sink. Take care of the problems you encounter right away, don’t let them grow or spend your precious time thinking about them. Use your time in the present to enjoy the wonderful things going on around you. That reminds me I have some dishes soaking in the sink …..