Call Me Beverly………….Hillbilly!

I was born in Charleston, West Virginia. It is a beautiful and friendly place. I am convinced it is the only place in the U.S. that people still believe in the inherent good of others, although that’s not how West Virginians are a portrayed in the media. I once travelled there to see my Grandparents and on the way, someone in the Cincannati Airport stole my wallet. I arrived in Charleston with no money, no driver’s license, and no credit cards. I still had my check book and the kind people at the Allegheny Airlines Ticket Counter allowed me to write a check for $25.00 which was enough for me to take a cab to my Grandparents’ home. Another time in Charleston my sister and I went shopping at a drugstore and my sister got home to Kentucky and realized she didn’t have all of the items she purchased. She asked me to go back in there and let them know and pick up the items. I was reluctant to do so, imagining I would be laughed right out of there. I was so wrong, the salesperson remembered us and went to the shelves and retrieved the items my sister was missing.
Typically when I mention I am from West Virginia I get the usual jokes about marrying my cousin. I confess I hate to wear shoes and take them off as often as I can. But I have never dated, let alone married my cousins, I have all of my teeth, I went to college, my parents and my sister went to college, and I wasn’t raised as racially prejudiced. I have never called a swimming pool “the cement pond”. I never used a piece of rope for a belt. I never called my Dad, “Pa”, although I did call my Grandfather PaPa (pronounced PawPall). I never called my Grandmother “Granny” she was of course MaMa (pronounced MawMall). The new awful stereotype about West Virginia are the knuckleheads attempting crazy stunts on an MTV show called Buckwild.
Just like any prejudice or preconceived notions assuming that being from West Virginia means a bunch of negative stereotypes are true about me is not only incorrect about who I am, it limits how we can interact. Especially if when we’re talking you are wondering if I grew up using an outhouse instead of having indoor plumbing. Next time you start make assumptions about someone when you hear where they were born, take a minute and make sure you’re not limiting your interaction with them based on your preconceived notions. Y’all come back now, ya hear.

Are You Your Best Friend or Worst Critic?

How do you define yourself? If I asked you right now to tell me about yourself would you begin with who you are or would you talk about who you are not? It is easy to forget all of our good qualities if we are focusing on milestones we haven’t reached. If the way you talk to yourself is a way you wouldn’t speak to your worst enemy, you need to change that today.

Negative comments and constant criticism can become a bad habit. When you try to change this habit it may feel strange to be complimenting yourself. For example, you missed a project deadline and your typical thought might be, “I can’t believe I did that. You’re such a loser”. How about saying, “I missed that deadline but I will do better next time”. Or “The project was better for the extra time I took to complete it” Or “Now I know I need to give myself more time to complete this type of project next time”. You get the picture, it’s focusing on the positive outcomes instead of dwelling on the missed deadline.

Do a little check for the next day. Notice how you talk to yourself. Are you supportive? Are you focusing on what you’ve accomplished or do you focus on what you haven’t done? Every time you make a critical comment, stop and rephrase it with a positive one. You will be amazed at how much better and energized you feel. Now make it a great day!

Way to Go!!!

Way to go!! You’re terrific. I am so proud of you! You’re doing an amazing job! I knew you could do it. When was the last time you said anything of these things to yourself? We all have an inner cheerleader and an inner critic, why are the critics so loud that they drown out the cheerleaders? Berating yourself happens when you are not 100 % confident, it is our way of ensuring we are not surprised by an outcome but unfortunately it does more than eliminating surprise it undercuts our ability to succeed. Turn up the volume on the cheerleader with the can do attitude, ask the critic to move on with love and light, he/she no longer serves any purpose in your life. I know you can do anything you set your sights on, so keep those good thoughts coming and pat yourself on the back. Can I get a way to go?

Don’t Let Them Stomp on Your Rose-Colored Glasses

Since I was a child I have been accused of being overly optimistic. I actually won the “Pollyanna Award” in my college freshman dorm. I can honestly say that I wake up most mornings in a good mood and tend to see the positive side of most situations. My sunny outlook is due to the fact that I have trusted God enough to know that no matter how awful a circumstance has been I will make it through the ordeal and be stronger for the experience. Gaining wisdom is a test of faith that can be a brutal process.

My sunny outlook is not always well received and has actually been the subject of ridicule in some work environments. You know the type of organization-one where everyone is expected to be goofing off and taking advantage of the Company. Their motto is “The beatings will continue until morale improves”. If you find yourself in this type of work environment watch out for signs that you are becoming one of the Negative Neds or Nancys assuming the worst of everyone and every initiative.

I see how easily we can let our own perspective be clouded by other people’s negative realities. Have you ever been standing with a group discussing something fairly positive when one Negative Nancy walks up and says, “Do you really believe that?” After a comment like that, just watch how quickly a positive discussion becomes less positive or even worse one filled with suspicion. We all want to be in the know and don’t want to have someone outsmart us, unfortunately this ends up in giving Negative Nancys free rein to impact our perceptions. I remember a time when I was particularly fired up about a situation and was ranting about it when an old friend said to me, “Who stomped on your rose-colored glasses?” It made me laugh out loud and brought me back to my true self that had disappeared behind the negative tirade. Be careful out there and don’t let them stomp on your rose-colored glasses.